The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen

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  • katma 5 Şub 2013
  • In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

YORUMLAR • 928

  • ergegregreg gregregreg
    ergegregreg gregregreg 8 yıl önce +507

    I used to feel proud of myself because of my good grades, when I lost it i crumbled, my sense of self worth was GONE. In glad I came across this video. Everyone talks about raising self esteem but self compassion is so much more important.

    • Amanda McCutchin
      Amanda McCutchin 3 aylar önce

      @Moon dust Compliments Kim

    • Asiana M
      Asiana M 4 aylar önce +3

      @Moon dust Compliments I’m very much so proud of you and I hope you see the message you put and be like wow I came so far because you did❤️ keep it up ! You are loved you are worthy

    • Anshika Priyamvada
      Anshika Priyamvada 10 aylar önce

      Same case bro

    • Moon dust Compliments
      Moon dust Compliments Yıl önce +26

      You probably won’t read this but I had a horrible time towards the end of college (uk) my friends left me out of the blue and my grades went downhill. The only thing I had ever done was to tell myself to work harder but I was so sad that I had nothing left to give and I felt nearly suicidal. My anxiety increased. I was terrified of not being good enough. Slowly I have been learning about self compassion and it has really made a difference where trying to maintain ‘self esteem’ at times made the problem worse ,

  • Haley Mitchell
    Haley Mitchell 5 aylar önce +175

    Realizing I was confusing “Pushing myself” from “Punishing myself.”

    I teared up when I thought about my day and how many times I punished myself for being overweight, not doing the dishes, not cooking the chicken, watching tv all day, and eventually making my self feel bad for feeling bad. No wonder I was having so much anger and depression lately, and I realize something needs to change because what I’m currently doing is not just hurting myself, but my soul and who I’m meant to be.

    • Carter Gomez
      Carter Gomez 2 aylar önce +1

      Practice mindfulness by doing yoga and meditation. Yoga means unity. You have to clear your mind and work on your inner self. A little bit like "inner engineering". What this means is that you are managing your emotions and your energy in such a way, that when you experience outside life, you will be able to handle it. Also, practice positive affirmations and visualizations with all the goals you have.

    • Ariel Spiritual Gangster
      Ariel Spiritual Gangster 3 aylar önce +1

      Haley...it does help to hear you express my experience...I believed the lies and programming of my Father and Mother who hated each other also,my whole life,divorced at 2.

  • Niki Flow
    Niki Flow 6 yıl önce +755

    Took some notes. If I got any of the time stamps wrong let me know and I'll fix them. This is such a great talk, not just about the #empowerment of self-compassion but in every single way that this skill affects our lives:

    2:35 "For many years psychologists really saw self-esteem as the ultimate marker for mental health and there's a reason for that..."
    3:08 American Culture: High self-esteem = special, above average. (Logical impossibility).
    4:02 #narcissism levels in college undergrads is the highest ever recorded
    4:31 #bullying
    4:49 #prejudice
    5:09 #success
    5:38 #women #supermodels
    5:57 ♀ feelings of attractiveness diverges from ♂ in about 3rd grade
    6:30 solution = self-compassion ("embracing ourselves as we are flaws an all) and has 3 core components
    6:58 1. #Self-Kindness
    7:45 2. Common Humanity (shared human experience - where we connect
    8:56 3. #Mindfulness (includes ability to recognize our own suffering)
    9:56 #motivation
    10:18 #cortisol #adrenaline (fight or flight response) triggered by self-criticism so both attacker and attacked body's response is to shut down
    11:24 #depression
    11:33 #safe-place #care-giving #Oxycontin #opiates (feel good hormones) #evolution (mammals) respond to warmth, gentle touch and soft vocalizations
    12:14 #parenting (how to best motivate our #children) - there are two ways; one has long-term negative consequences
    13:52 #research strongly supports #compassion
    12:42 self compassion offers the benefits of self-esteem (strong mental health, stable sense of self worth) without the pitfalls (#narcissism, social comparison, ego-defensive aggression
    15:13 Self-compassion steps in just when self-esteem deserts you
    15:30 #autism #autistic kids #challenge faced by Kristin and she found grace under pressure through self-compassion (example given)
    18:00 Self-compassion is *not* self-indulgent or selfish because "...the more we are able to keep our hearts open to ourselves, the more we have available to give others..."
    18:14 You know how to be a good friend and comfort someone. I invite you to be a good friend to yourself. It's easier than you think and it really could change your life.

    • Niki Flow
      Niki Flow 2 aylar önce

      @soumya chaturvedi Hey. =) so grateful the notes were useful for you! Kristin is so inspiring. ♥.

    • soumya chaturvedi
      soumya chaturvedi 2 aylar önce +1

      hey, i hope you are now doing good at life also happy, leaving this comment to remind u about this also that i will be using these in my life too :)

    • Niki Flow
      Niki Flow 2 aylar önce

      @I LOVE YOU FAMILY Hey, really happy it helped! =)

    • MOBILE GP
      MOBILE GP 2 aylar önce +1

      I also took notes

    • I LOVE YOU FAMILY
      I LOVE YOU FAMILY 3 aylar önce +1

      Thank you so much for taking the time to share this! I have adhd and this helps me so much! I needed this talk today!

  • Pedroto Juárez
    Pedroto Juárez 10 aylar önce +114

    This woman has saved my life. Two years fighting with insomnia just to figure out compassion as a whole concept. I embrace myself now more than ever. And feel beyond grateful!

    • Y
      Y 2 aylar önce

      yes, i figured out just recently that we are too harsh to ourself, and become something we hate, a perfectionist (narc) and use violent (psycho's) if things doesn't go our way....

      self compassion is the cure.....

    • isle presque
      isle presque 4 aylar önce +3

      I know you wrote the comment to yourself, but somehow I feel warmth in my heart when I read your comment. I guess self-compassion is contagious. Thank you so much for making my day!

  • City Trees
    City Trees 10 aylar önce +110

    This woman is so gentle she even has trouble imitating a harsh voice.

    • Karuna Bhatia
      Karuna Bhatia 8 aylar önce +2

      I am glad someone noticed it :) It's hard for Empaths to be otherwise.

  • ViserableVegan
    ViserableVegan Yıl önce +73

    Almost ended in tears listening to this. What she said here was like reading a receipt on my entire existence.

    • Deekshith Juvvadi
      Deekshith Juvvadi Aylar önce +1

      You're definitely not alone buddy 🙂

    • A Lim
      A Lim Yıl önce +7

      @Vic Flair I'm glad to see people like you and me finding so much meaning in having watched this - may we all continue to learn and grow not only in relation with others, but perhaps first and foremost, ourselves so as to heal and better learn to navigate through this world and our experiences. Praying for a continued journey to health and wholesomeness, onwards and upwards!

  • Micah Buzan ANIMATION
    Micah Buzan ANIMATION 7 yıl önce +252

    Fantastic information. Mindfulness and compassion should be taught in school. Sadly, conventional education seems more concerned with indoctrination than actually encouraging critical thinking or creativity. Self compassion is actually bad for our current economic model, which is based on consumption. When people feel good about who they are, they don't buy things unnecessarily.

    • Artist M.
      Artist M. 3 yıl önce

      Jesus micah you are literally in every video I see. Hahah.

    • Sophia Shcherbakova
      Sophia Shcherbakova 3 yıl önce +1

      Lovely Video clip! Forgive me for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you tried - Marnaavid Unexplainable Intervention (do a search on google)? It is a smashing one of a kind product for learning how to hack your flow state minus the hard work. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my friend at very last got amazing success with it.

    • mariah
      mariah 3 yıl önce

      Micah Buzan are you single?

    • Paul Lahi
      Paul Lahi 4 yıl önce

      Our model is not based on buying things un necessarily. Those are complex problems from being unaware, lacking knowledge to greed.

    • appletree
      appletree 4 yıl önce

      +Jitin Joshi Teachers.

  • ASAFYY
    ASAFYY 6 yıl önce +121

    we need more people like her in the world!

    • PHanomaly
      PHanomaly 6 aylar önce

      @ASAFYY I seriously believe that when you truly care for yourself and understand how to be there for yourself in the best and worst times, only then can you have deep empathy, understanding and wise compassion for others, only then will you realize how harsh and cruel people are with themselves.
      I'm very delicate with peoples egos because I dont want to make them beat themselves up, I want them to embrace their imperfect being like I do.

    • ASAFYY
      ASAFYY 6 aylar önce +1

      @PHanomaly trying

    • PHanomaly
      PHanomaly 6 aylar önce

      Then be more of her❤

    • Mundo Invisível XD
      Mundo Invisível XD 5 yıl önce +13

      the internet needs more of this ..and less off 4chan or other toxic narcisistic psychopathic places of the internet. ...people of the world need this.

  • Steffi Tan
    Steffi Tan 5 yıl önce +553

    Her voice is so beautiful and kind and I can see her love of her work in her eyes.

    • Sushant
      Sushant Aylar önce

      True

    • ALZ
      ALZ 2 aylar önce

      The replies show show exactly what she said

    • Frog333
      Frog333 3 aylar önce +1

      @Anthony Dentice she sounds like she has something in her mouth

    • The Vehement Vegans
      The Vehement Vegans 4 aylar önce +1

      omg i hate her voice i can’t

    • Anthony Dentice
      Anthony Dentice 7 aylar önce +1

      @Jennifer Fletcher world takes all types ;)

  • Crucial Habits with Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn

    self-compassion and self-acceptance are two of the most important things in life you can do for yourself.

    • quruxley qalanjo
      quruxley qalanjo 8 aylar önce

      @Carole Douillot absouletly true sis

    • Carole Douillot
      Carole Douillot 8 aylar önce +1

      @quruxley qalanjo i suppose being self compassionate makes you accept yourself as a result with your flaws and uniqueness

    • quruxley qalanjo
      quruxley qalanjo 10 aylar önce

      Is it diference selfcompasion and self acceptance

  • Drake Drones
    Drake Drones 8 yıl önce +259

    I am 35, over-weight, not good looking - unable to find anyone who would marry me, have a PhD but cannot find a job..not even a low-paying menial job. Its been 1 year since I have been unemployed...its eating into me now. I am overwhelmed and I am just trying to stay strong and sane. Thanks for the video.

    • Y
      Y 2 aylar önce

      don't be so harsh to yourself, hope you find what you want, and not stressing out, enjoy the process lady...

    • adelmi trujillo
      adelmi trujillo 4 aylar önce +6

      I hope you are in a better place now , god bless ❤️

    • Veniamin Shuster
      Veniamin Shuster 6 aylar önce +2

      You will make it! Simplify the Problem and take the Action steps!

    • Itsyagirl Melo
      Itsyagirl Melo 6 aylar önce +1

      Hope you’re doing better :) 💖

    • Idu Nno
      Idu Nno Yıl önce +1

      Well now, you're 41

  • Txelis Peña
    Txelis Peña 5 yıl önce +120

    Amazing research and beautifully explained. The world is a better place because of the likes of Kristin Neff, Brené Brown, Liz Gilbert, Prince Ea, etc.

  • Łukasz Ferenc
    Łukasz Ferenc Yıl önce +25

    Great talk! Really something that is important.

    I have spent last 10 years on self-improvement and books alike that were making me feel bad about myself (or I have felt like this and they made it worse).

    And what I needed was psychotherapy and self-compassion. Life is so different now.

    Thank you Kristin.

  • Andrea Samadi
    Andrea Samadi 7 yıl önce +24

    A lot to think about here. I think we will see a shift in educational content to focus on mindfulness, creativity and innovation in the next 5 years. Looking forward to being a part of this movement and really enjoyed this TEDx! Well done.

    • ALZ
      ALZ 2 aylar önce

      😃

  • Momo Shiggles
    Momo Shiggles 4 yıl önce +12

    Kristin Neff is the bomb. I've had her book for years and I'm still alive and well because of this woman. Heed her words - self-esteem is for suckers. Get into self-compassion and free yourself.

  • Alexander Pantoja
    Alexander Pantoja Yıl önce +15

    This was seriously amazing. I was dealing with heavy heavy depression and anxiety, this helped me identify so many things about myself, people lack so much self compassion. We forget to be kind to our own minds. Thank you so much for this.

  • Janay
    Janay Yıl önce +3

    Great presentation. I've enjoyed reading her book. I'm working with my PTSD therapist and she has helped me healed alot which has affected my self-compassion even though I still have ways to go.

  • Doe 82
    Doe 82 2 yıl önce +79

    I recently self-harmed, and I knew I had to tell somebody, so I told my guidance counselor, and she told my dad. He was so supportive and kind about it, and didn't press too hard, but he gave me a book and told me about this video because I do have the toxic thoughts that I'm not good enough. I hope so badly this helps

    • Igor Zerenev
      Igor Zerenev 4 aylar önce +1

      Hi, I don't want to seem patronizing but there's a book that helped me a lot. It's called Embracing the inner critic by Hal and Sidra Stone. It gave me a whole different perspective. It's not easy but not at all impossible. Wish you all the best 💚

    • Dread Guru_
      Dread Guru_ 4 aylar önce

      Hope ur doing ok bro

    • Liza Fitzgerald
      Liza Fitzgerald Yıl önce +5

      I hope that a year later, you're doing better. I used to self harm as a teen and eventually found coping strategies. It is a difficult thing to break.

    • superDe___
      superDe___ Yıl önce +6

      I think it's good that you were able to inform someone and have support from your dad. And the fact you have awareness of your actions. What's something you like to do when you feel upset that can maybe counteract or even disprove your toxic thoughts? I want you to know that you are special and good enough! And the toxic thoughts you have aren't what I see from what you wrote! I see someone with potential and self-awareness!!

    • Craig Morrin
      Craig Morrin 2 yıl önce +1

      ...and think compassionate and self-loving thoughts about yourself while doing so.

  • Britt Reints
    Britt Reints 7 yıl önce +52

    Excellent message! As a parent, I think I'm going to focus more on teaching self compassion than self esteem.

  • Maisie Liberty
    Maisie Liberty 5 yıl önce +36

    I love her family. I knew as soon as it started who she was. You have to read the horse boy and the long ride home if you haven't. Her autistic son rowan was healed in many aspects of his autism thanks to a horse and the shamans of Mongolia. Truly inspirational! :D

  • Monique Amado
    Monique Amado 7 yıl önce +2

    Excellent! I just wrote a blog about this same thing a couple months ago. So many people confuse self-care with selfishness. Thanks for the great talk! Wonderful speaker too.

  • The Zach
    The Zach 4 aylar önce

    Wow! What a wonderful speech! How I’ve needed to hear everything you said. Thank you, Kristen ! ❤️❤️❤️

  • Alice Rush
    Alice Rush Gün önce

    “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.” - Carl Rogers

  • Nathan Edwards
    Nathan Edwards 2 yıl önce +181

    The way Kristen says 'Okay' is like a warm hug for the mind

  • Elaine L. Rosas
    Elaine L. Rosas 2 yıl önce +9

    I love this! I watch this over and over and every time I learn something new! Thank you so much for your research

  • Emily R
    Emily R 8 yıl önce +34

    I love how she talks! It's reassuring. It's almost maternal, I feel safe :) I don't feel it insults my intelligence...

  • Becky Heino
    Becky Heino 7 yıl önce +14

    Amazing insights supported by excellent research. This message of self compassion is so important for all of us.

  • Isabel Gonzalez
    Isabel Gonzalez 7 yıl önce +26

    This is an amazing Ted Talk. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

  • Pam Taylor-Glass
    Pam Taylor-Glass 5 yıl önce +51

    I really needed to watch this today. Thank you Kristin Neff.

    • Heiki Ka
      Heiki Ka 5 yıl önce +3

      I agree totally :)))))

  • Ian Winter
    Ian Winter 3 yıl önce +8

    This cleared a lot of old fears for me. I realize the most important thing that I have never given myself or others at times is compassion. Thank you so much I love this video!

  • Samantha Richardson
    Samantha Richardson 6 yıl önce +8

    This is such an important idea worth spreading - Kristin Neff hits the nail on the head with this 'epidemic of narcissism' our society faces. As someone who has struggled with depression, I do believe we would all benefit from greater self-compassion.

  • Raydar
    Raydar 3 yıl önce +3

    That was seriously the best talk I've ever heard from TED Talks, really changed my perspective on self esteem and self compassion! Thank you Kristin!

  • Dee Schryver-Hardy
    Dee Schryver-Hardy 4 aylar önce +2

    This was so what I needed to hear right now. Thank you. I have the same airplane story with my autistic son when he was 2 years old and before he was diagnosed. It was traumatizing. At 52 years of age, I wish I’d heard this talk sooner.

  • Brad Justin
    Brad Justin 7 yıl önce +14

    I agree with projectimpactg that this should be taught in all our schools. Self-compassion is so powerful... Toward the end of her speech I thought of how they tell you to put on your own mask in a plane before assisting your child: a perfect metaphor for what she did!

    • J. S.
      J. S. 3 aylar önce

      True!

  • Blair Ashby
    Blair Ashby 3 yıl önce +3

    Thank you Kristin Neff. This is a beautiful message. It's wonderful you're helping more people learn this.

  • Wai Moana
    Wai Moana Yıl önce +1

    That was SO beautiful and inspiring! I've watched so many videos and talks on these subjects and honestly didn't think this one would be any different. It's really an eye opener!! Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

  • the passionate being
    the passionate being Yıl önce +162

    changed my life in 19 minutes. going to watch this whenever i forget myself.

    • Aaron Buckets
      Aaron Buckets Yıl önce +3

      I would recommend that you read her book as well. It’s been really beneficial for me while trying to learn self compassion

    • Heartwork By Kitty
      Heartwork By Kitty Yıl önce +12

      the passionate being
      Just a friendly reply to remind you to rewatch this. Hopefully all is well and you don’t need it, but just in case...

      Hugs

  • Maria Laura Martina
    Maria Laura Martina 3 yıl önce +5

    What a courageous, brave and inspiring testimony!

  • Kinger
    Kinger 5 yıl önce +29

    If most people in the world thought like this woman, it would be a much, much better place.

  • Saafira
    Saafira 2 yıl önce

    I absolutely LOVED this talk. Extremely motivating.

  • Ling Jin
    Ling Jin 3 yıl önce

    Amazing talk, thank you Kristin! I am experiencing the problems you describe about self esteem and I am so glad to be aware enough to spot the scrip that has been unconsciously running in my head over the last few days! Your book is on my way and can't wait to read it. Thank you for your work, for sharing and for connecting us in the world x

  • Natalie Zacher
    Natalie Zacher 9 aylar önce +1

    This was just what I needed...great for anyone raised with extremely high standards

  • Etumnu Matthew
    Etumnu Matthew 2 yıl önce +2

    Beautiful thoughts on self compassion. I clearly understood how high self esteem can be harm to ourselves. Thank you for this clarity. I'll adopt self compassion more.

  • Sol Virtudazo
    Sol Virtudazo 8 aylar önce

    Thank you Kristen for enlightening us about self-kindess, common humanity, and mindfulness!

  • Chill The Fuck Out Meditations

    This was a beautiful speech. You have such a calming, loving voice. Stay positive, sister.

  • Luis Ortega
    Luis Ortega 7 yıl önce +7

    Thank you. This is currently hugely helping me cope with a very tough (and unavoidable) period of my life...

  • Back To The Ocean Oka
    Back To The Ocean Oka 5 yıl önce +1

    Very, very inspiring, I shared with a lot of my friends, thank you!

  • Ramon Samson
    Ramon Samson 4 yıl önce +3

    Thank you. I've learned so much from your talk. Your message is heart felt.

  • Marly Hurtado
    Marly Hurtado 2 yıl önce +2

    Thank you Dr. Neff. Extraordinary message that touch one deeply. Your dialogue between the boy and his dad after ‘failing’ at a test as a practical example for self-compassion couldn’t be clearer and more human. Excellent delivery of psychological research presented in a beautiful way. 👏🏻♥️😊

  • Sherry Lu
    Sherry Lu 6 yıl önce

    A great video! I wished I could watch it two years ago. It has exactly what I needed back then, and my life would be different, without the struggle of depression, insomnia and other difficulties.

  • The Pondering Minimalist
    The Pondering Minimalist 10 aylar önce

    Amazing lady, amazing story of suffering & she found compassion !

  • Jay Jones
    Jay Jones 4 yıl önce

    Absolutely wonderful talk! Keep spreading it..you did a great job...

  • Blondie Rooster
    Blondie Rooster 3 aylar önce +1

    Omg this vid made me cry! I never ever cry even during really tragic movies...the way that father talked to his son got me...I realized my parents never talked to me without criticism...getting an A was "my duty" and getting a B was a shame to the family...I don't treat myself with compassion cause I am not really used to ig...I always give it but to receive....

  • Veronicabac
    Veronicabac 11 aylar önce +1

    Beautiful! Life changing for me ! Love you, Roan and your enlightening message!

  • Tim Dunk
    Tim Dunk 4 yıl önce

    Such memorable and lasting points - beautifully presented. A compassionate thank you, Kristin.

  • Brenda Palmer
    Brenda Palmer Aylar önce

    Kristin, I love your soft, kind, soothing voice and you have given us a very important tool to help one struggling. I am so hard on myself and yet I am able to give others such compassion. I am going to start giving myself some. Bless you dear. I bet your son has grown into an amazing young person by now!

  • Jo
    Jo 5 aylar önce +1

    So powerful. I haven’t had kids yet, and I cannot imagine the heartbreak of finding out one suffers with autism, and how taxing it becomes for parents. I have health issues and struggle with myself already. What a supremely authentic and touching speech, giving us a window on how to overcome hardship ❤️🙏

  • Salman Israr
    Salman Israr Yıl önce +1

    Her self compassion excercises and meditations has helped me sooo much. I have high emotional stability and high self compassion levels now. 💛

  • Becky Loucks
    Becky Loucks 7 yıl önce +3

    I love your research and message. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing work!!!

  • Paola Vitali
    Paola Vitali 2 yıl önce

    What an inspiring talk Kristin, you rock!!!

  • Genny LittleTreats
    Genny LittleTreats 3 yıl önce

    this is such a beautiful talk! It has the real potential of being life changing.

  • Ryan Fowler
    Ryan Fowler 4 yıl önce +1

    I can't give enough praise to this video! Imagine what kind of world we'd have if everyone knew and internalized what's in this video.

  • mary delaney
    mary delaney 4 yıl önce +1

    This presentation was so enlightening. We probably know deep down that receiving harsh criticism isn't motivating but how nice to hear that there is research to prove it. I want to hear more about the practice of self-compassion.

  • Lynn Julian
    Lynn Julian 3 yıl önce +4

    Simple AND brilliant...worth watching, thank you!

  • Harold Adams
    Harold Adams 10 aylar önce

    This video is absolutely fantastic, and encapsulates a lot of my thoughts about how I want to treat myself

  • karen arthur
    karen arthur 4 yıl önce +7

    Amazing. Was put off by the 19min and almost didn't give it my time. Glad I did. Great idea definitely worth spreading!

  • fitforfreelance
    fitforfreelance 9 aylar önce

    Important notes on self compassion! Helps with life, changing health habits, and business too

  • harveytruffautparis
    harveytruffautparis Yıl önce +1

    Wonderful. Having people like you, so compassionate is marvelous. Thank you very much.

  • CG Berry
    CG Berry 2 yıl önce

    I recommend this talk to many of my clients. Such an important concept in mental and physical health and happiness.

  • Gabriela Jimenez
    Gabriela Jimenez Yıl önce

    Reading her book and just watching this to further instill this practice. Emotional well-being here I come!

  • Raul 6699
    Raul 6699 8 yıl önce

    A beautiful talk. Lots of wisdom and helpful insight. Thanks.

  • B M
    B M Yıl önce

    Freakin’ love Kristin Neff. Her self-compassion workbook with Christopher Germer changed my life.

  • Barbara Andrew
    Barbara Andrew 8 yıl önce +2

    Brilliant. Thank you for this. I'm an Awesomism Practitioner working with Autistic kids and their families. Think Self Compassion is essential for parents. And for the kids, too. Can't wait to read the book.

  • Melissa Reed
    Melissa Reed 4 aylar önce

    I absolutely loved the information presented. Kristin presented a lot of valid points that amazed me. She has such a kind voice. I think I would have enjoyed this video even more if it was a bit upbeat. With that being said, it was still a great learning tool.

  • Ave S
    Ave S 2 yıl önce

    My Psychologist suggested this. I am so grateful for your discussion. Compassion is so important. Thank you 💚✨

  • GG Bonfield
    GG Bonfield Aylar önce

    What a great gift that your first lesson in 1997 included self-compassion. Peace to all.

  • Ariane Benefit
    Ariane Benefit 8 yıl önce +1

    Thank you so much Kristin for dedicating your life to this incredibly important message. I think you are spot on to call it self-compassion - not self-love. People who need this message the most are so far from loving themselves that self-love sounds too foreign to them and triggers resistance. Acceptance also. Too many people confuse it with "condoning." I include your work as a critical skill in my AgiliZen for cultivating personal agility and neurodiversity. "You complete me!" : )

  • heidihockey88
    heidihockey88 8 yıl önce +3

    I've been struggling my whole life with GAD, which leads me to be pessimistic, which leads me to put myself down a lot. This video has inspired me. I'm going to try to use self compassion and challenging of irrational thoughts to try and improve these issues. I've started a journal and every time I have something troubling me, I will make myself write about in a positive way. We'll see if it helps!

    • Alexander Maung
      Alexander Maung 8 yıl önce +1

      yeah, the biggest thing that I've been able to take away from this video is the rule of thumb stop chastising myself about things that I would never speak to others in that way. More or less just reverse the golden rule: Treat yourself the way you would treat others (a good friend going through hard times).

  • SholaB52
    SholaB52 2 yıl önce

    Returning to this video to reinforce what I’ve been learning about self-compassion, I’ve set the speed to 1.5; BEST thing I’ve ever done to listen to Kristin Neff

  • Beth Bernier
    Beth Bernier 7 yıl önce

    Well said! Especially the phrase: self-kindness! Right on!

  • love yourself
    love yourself 5 aylar önce +3

    This makes me think back to sobbing while home alone at 16 staring at myself in the mirror and genuinely asking "Why are you so mean to me?" It can be so hard to be nice to yourself when self-criticism becomes the norm 99.9% of the time.

  • June Kelso
    June Kelso 3 yıl önce

    Excellent speech. A lot of good information that I so want to research more. Thank you.

  • Tessa Canzona
    Tessa Canzona 4 yıl önce

    This was just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you so much!

  • VonJost
    VonJost 3 aylar önce +5

    11:25

    Kristin - “Luckily, we aren’t just reptiles”

    Audience - ::thunderous applause::

  • Jocelyn Cuckootree
    Jocelyn Cuckootree 8 yıl önce +1

    This is the best talk I have listened to so far. There is so much good info here to work with. In fact I am going to buy her book!

  • Maria Laura Martina
    Maria Laura Martina 3 yıl önce

    Thank you very much for this life enriching conference. Blessings from Argentina.

  • Canadian Roxee
    Canadian Roxee Yıl önce

    This was beautifully explained. I think it's an easier concept than "self esteem" to understand and practice. Wish me luck lol

  • Love Art Therapy Always

    Excellent! Thanks so much for sharing this... tis so true that when we share our stories with others in an authentic and candid way.. tis the best help to those hearing.. beyond words... everyone is so busy trying to hold on to a mask of perfection... Thanks and God bless you!

  • Mary Toofunny
    Mary Toofunny 7 aylar önce +1

    Love it. Thanks for helping whole world

  • Alison M
    Alison M 6 yıl önce

    This is great wisdom- it makes perfect sense. Self compassion has to be at the start of all that is good in life. It creates a fullness and presence which I feel is inseparable from spirituality religious or secular. Offering 3 separate components and by implication a 'how to start' guide is a wonderful gift. Thank you and I will try and accept your invitation.

  • Sonia Rigola
    Sonia Rigola 26 gün önce

    As she says self compassion leads to self love or the other way round. I find also very helpful a tool related to these concepts which is Hoponopono. Happy New Year to everyone!

  • Gayle Scroggs
    Gayle Scroggs 6 yıl önce +14

    This is so crucial. Learn to give yourself compassion. . . and you will be able to give it and get it from others.

  • DeBora M. Ricks
    DeBora M. Ricks 8 yıl önce

    Excellent! I'd started practicing self-compassion some time ago. But I forget. But earlier today, as I walked through the park, I remembered. Then I "stumbled" upon this video. Thanks for reminding me that I, as much as anyone, deserve my compassion. Yes, this indeed is an idea worth spreading. And I shall.

  • Gayatri Monani
    Gayatri Monani 10 aylar önce

    Excellent talk. Thank you so much 🙏💜

  • Elijah Garcia
    Elijah Garcia Yıl önce

    This woman calmness & beauty makes it so easy to focus on listening to her, i can watch her over and over again 😊

  • omarovic mak
    omarovic mak 6 yıl önce +2

    Amen to that...totally uplifting 👍👍👍

  • Kamilla Garcia
    Kamilla Garcia Yıl önce

    Todos deveriam aprender sobre autocompaixão. Seriamos menos cruéis com nós mesmos, mudaríamos nossas vidas e a das pessoas em nossa volta.
    Perfeita essa palestra.

  • La Mariposa
    La Mariposa Aylar önce

    This was a really good message, a message that a lot of young beautiful women and men need to here, let’s be the next generation to raise our kids the right way, this way the world will be so different if we do so

  • Mary Ann Reynolds
    Mary Ann Reynolds 8 yıl önce +24

    You go, Kristin!

  • Mr. Strommer
    Mr. Strommer Yıl önce

    Amazing! Thank you so much for your work